I have a son. I have also “dated” someone with a child in the past so I know what I’m talking about okay? Okay good.
Before we get into this post, I just want to say kids are gifts from God, but that doesn’t mean that they are everyone’s cup of tea. Because they just are not.
I also want to say, to the contrary, DO NOT be discouraged by the baby mothers and the baby fathers!
Not all of it is drama!
I will say that you have to at least be cordial with the mother of father of the child, if you are serious and plan on being in that person’s life.
Anyway, there are some things that people without children couldn’t possibly comprehend when dating someone with children.
You are not more important than the child, if they are a decent parent, and probably will never be until you are married, (if you get there).
Being brutally honest is the best policy.
- You will always feel like you are “fighting” for more attention from the person you are dating.
- Quality time with the mother/father will be scarce, especially if the children are young.
- Being impatient and not understanding will drive them away.
- The needs of the child will ALWAYS come first (That movie date gotta wait)
Now a lot of everything I am saying will go out the window if you guys get really serious.
The beginning stages will be very rocky.
It will only get to a serious point if you understand that the mom/dad along with their child is a PACKAGE deal.
You cannot reap the benefits of a healthy relationship with this person if you do not plan to also have a good relationship with their kid(s).
It’s just the reality of it.
If you are not comfortable with being a step parent, I would honestly just stay away from women and men with children.
Yes, everything isn’t meant to be long term, but why waste your time if that isn’t what you want? ESPECIALLY with a person with children?
Just doesn’t quite make sense.
I’m not an expert, just someone that has experienced things.
How do you feel about dating people with kids? Have you?
Let me know!