Before You Go Out Dating People With Kids…

I have a son. I have also “dated” someone with a child in the past so I know what I’m talking about okay? Okay good.

Before we get into this post, I just want to say kids are gifts from God, but that doesn’t mean that they are everyone’s cup of tea. Because they just are not.

I also want to say, to the contrary, DO NOT be discouraged by the baby mothers and the baby fathers!

Not all of it is drama!

I will say that you have to at least be cordial with the mother of father of the child, if you are serious and plan on being in that person’s life.

Anyway, there are some things that people without children couldn’t possibly comprehend when dating someone with children.

You are not more important than the child, if they are a decent parent, and probably will never be until you are married, (if you get there).

Being brutally honest is the best policy.

  • You will always feel like you are “fighting” for more attention from the person you are dating.
  • Quality time with the mother/father will be scarce, especially if the children are young.
  • Being impatient and not understanding will drive them away.
  • The needs of the child will ALWAYS come first (That movie date gotta wait)

Now a lot of everything I am saying will go out the window if you guys get really serious.

The beginning stages will be very rocky.

It will only get to a serious point if you understand that the mom/dad along with their child is a PACKAGE deal.

You cannot reap the benefits of a healthy relationship with this person if you do not plan to also have a good relationship with their kid(s).

It’s just the reality of it.

If you are not comfortable with being a step parent, I would honestly just stay away from women and men with children.

Yes, everything isn’t meant to be long term, but why waste your time if that isn’t what you want? ESPECIALLY with a person with children?

Just doesn’t quite make sense.

I’m not an expert, just someone that has experienced things.


How do you feel about dating people with kids? Have you?

Let me know!

10 thoughts on “Before You Go Out Dating People With Kids…

  1. I’ve only dated one person with a child, prior to being married and having my own child, and I never had a problem with the baby coming first. Hell I treated the child like I would my own. But you are so right dating people with kids is not for the weak.

    Like

    1. Kwanza Dixon

      Dating someone with children isn’t an issue with me per se, but it does depend on the age of those children. I don’t need your child’s mother calling while we’re out asking you to bring pampers and formula to the house. I’d rather date someone whose child can communicate on their own, with their own phone without the other parent being involved.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I have dated a lady with a child before and have went into the situation knowing any lady with a child is a package deal to the point you made. Therefore, it has always been a goal of mines with any lady with a child to treat that child as if he/she was my own if I truly care for the mom and we’re together. Last, a woman with two or more kids already when I meet is a deal breaker for me but thankfully not for all guys, but at the same time, I’ve met plenty of women that I know will make great wives with multiple kids.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. nyahcj

      I love this response!!
      I agree with two or more children being a deal breaker because it’s honestly just overwhelming and SO MUCH responsibility at that point. A lot of times like you said , the woman could be a wonderful wife but the kids are definitely a big responsibility.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, but like I said, thankfully a deal breaker for me isn’t a deal breaker for all other guys. Also, not so much responsibility for me, just with me not having any children it’s not my preference to date a lady with two or more kids.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Kwanza Dixon

    I have 4 children and I’ve never really had a problem dating guys (even those who didn’t have children). I think most people don’t want to date people with SMALL children, because 9.8 times out of 10, they are still dealing with their child(ren)’s mother/father, they are going to have a hard time finding babysitters when it’s time to go out and they won’t be able to get alone because the baby will cry too much or the child(ren) will be running around the house screaming and crying all of the time. Even as a mother of 4, if my boyfriend and I broke up, I wouldn’t date a man with small children. His youngest child would HAVE to be at the age where they can be alone in the house by themselves over night. I can’t deal will small children (unless it’s my grandson)…UM HELL NO!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. nyahcj

      Thanks for your response!
      I think you’re absolutely right. Small children are too much responsibility and there is so much grey area when dating. And there is almost never enough time to do anything unless you have a really terrific support system.

      Like

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