So…to start this off I am going to say that I was never a very sexual person to begin with.
Yes, sex is natural and I BELIEVE that everyone likes it or at least tolerates it for their partner. It is something that everyone engages in.
However, after you give birth to a child, a lottttt of things change (I know for me it did). But for now I’m going to make it simple and only talk about 5 ways in which everything changed.
- I was ALWAYSSSSSS tired and burnt out (my drive suffered horribly)
I never got any good sleep the first 6 or 7 months (IF THAT). So I always wanted to relax and chill. I also thought that my body did not need to engage in any sexual activities. I felt weak and my mood was always shattered by me being tired all the time. So due to this there was never really a time I wanted to waste any energy I managed to build up on sex. I wanted to take a shower, make a meal, something valuable to me; anything but sex.
- There is no such thing as privacy anymore
Everything I did had an audience. Whether the audience was my baby’s cry or my mother or siblings watching my every move ready to hand me back my baby. (They love him though so chill)
- I felt more energy needed to be put into mom activities
I thought that by having sex, I was putting my needs over my son’s at the time he most needed me. This was probably the biggest thing that changed. I never put myself first anymore. It was always about what’s best for my baby. I later found out that this was not the way to go for many reasons I will explain in another post. However, I just felt I needed to be in mommy mode 24/7.
- I just didn’t feel beautiful anymore!
I never had the time to MAKE myself feel or look pretty enough. (Or at least I felt I didn’t). I used to always do my makeup, hair, and nails. Not that that matters much when having sex but I used to put so much time into myself guys and I just stopped because I thought I had to. Turns out I didn’t. I just didn’t know how to balance. Especially with being a brand spanking new mother. And also, you don’t have to look pretty to have sex. Just my preference for myself!
- Showering and shaving became too much of a hassle (I never ever ever do it without being shaved first)
Guys…I needed a babysitter just to SHOWER. If I wanted to shave I felt like I would have to borderline pay my family for that (obviously just kidding). But seriously, I was not engaging in absolutely ANYTHING sexual without shaving Vivica first! To this very day, I still won’t. It’s just my personal preference but it’s unruly to me.
TIME was just a huge factor that impacted my sex life.
For months my sex life suffered because of these things. I legit just did not feel like it. I felt bad for my partner, he didn’t totally understand how or why I wasn’t feeling it BUT he was very “supportive”.
He didn’t step out on me. I was the mother of his child for goodness sakes! (not that that always means anything) It did for him though.
However, some experts say that your drive actually INCREASES. I was totally taken aback by this because my relationship suffered (not literally) for months because of me!
According to an article I read “New Moms Reveal the Truth About Postpartum Sex” by Stephanie Pappas, by the end of the third month after giving birth, 85% of moms are engaging in sexual activities again!
I don’t even want to tell you guy how long it was for us.
Just know it was a struggle and a half.
Has your sex life changed since becoming a mom? Dads, has your partner been putting it off for a while?
Let me know with an email or a comment!